


Our First Fight

by greenstuff



Series: My Reality Fairy Tale [5]
Category: Scrubs
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 21:24:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4681970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenstuff/pseuds/greenstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there is anything Perry is a master at, it's driving away the people he wants to keep closest. Self-sabotage is his super power. But lust has a way of clarifying things. Even if the decisions he makes under the influence aren’t always his best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His Very Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> This story should stand on its own, but if you're reading the whole series, this one picks up pretty much right where The Morning After (parts 1&2) leaves off.

Perry was going to make Barbie pay. And Ghandi. Carla would probably escape his wrath, but only because Perry didn’t have a lot of friends and he was pretty sure him torturing her husband was about all the punishment he could get away with dolling on her.

Everyone knew.

He couldn’t prove it of course. Not even the interns were _quite_ thick enough to talk directly to Dr. Cox about his sex life, or even within his hearing. But he knew that they knew. And he hated it.

Of course, it was his fault. Well… maybe if Newbie could control the starry look in his Disney Princess eyes maybe everyone would assume Perry was just an asshole and that he’d barged into Newbie’s bedroom hours after work and dragged him out by his ear because the kid had fucked something up at the hospital. He snorted aloud, startling the short, red-haired intern standing less than a foot away, causing her to drop the vials of blood she was labeling – thankfully they landed on a chair and not the floor and didn’t break. _Yeah, right_ , because his normal response to Newbie fucking up on the job was to follow him into his bedroom. Perry inwardly slapped himself. This was definitely his fault.

“What are you a vampire? Can’t wait for another sickie to waltz through those doors, have to jab the ones who are here repeatedly for a simple panel?” He snapped, snatching up the vials of blood and slapping the labels in place before handing them back to the wide eyed intern. He did not have the patience to teach today. Not that Perry Cox was exactly known for his patience, but usually he could at least store up his rage over the course of a few mistakes and let it all out in one single, spectacular rant – usually at Newbie.

The bad mood had started as soon as he walked in the doors of Sacred Heart. Even before he had walked in on conversation after conversation that stuttered to a suspicious halt before immediately turning to the weather, he wished he could be miles away. Three point two miles away to be precise. Preferably naked with an equally naked Newbie stretched out beneath him. But no. He was a doctor. So here he was, in a building full of gossips who made the women on the View look kind hearted and behind the times.

Now, three hours into his shift, Perry was ready to tear the head and probably all four limbs for good measure, off the next person who looked at him sideways. Which was why he was avoiding JD. Apart from a “Nice of you to join us Briar Rose,” when he passed JD at the nurse’s station– arriving five minutes after his shift was supposed to start and smiling far too broadly in Perry’s direction – he had manage to keep completely clear. Well, not completely. Twice he had turned into a hallway only to see Newbie walking towards him. Both times their eyes had met for long enough that Perry saw the hurt, confused sheen to JD’s eyes before he spun around and hurried in the opposite direction.

Logically, Perry knew studiously avoiding JD was only going to make the gossip worse and hurt the kid’s feelings. But speaking to him would hurt JD’s feelings more. Of that he was certain. Because if there was anything Perry was a master at, it was driving away the people he wanted to keep closest. Self-sabotage was his super power.

Then again, since he was going to fuck it all up sooner or later, maybe it was better than he was doing so within the first twenty-four hours. Maybe if he convinced JD the night before had been a one off, that Perry hadn’t wanted anything more than an orgasm or two, that in the cold light of the morning, Perry had realized this was a catastrophic mistake, maybe if he just broke it off cleanly before it really began, maybe JD would be okay and things could go back to normal. Comfortably uncomfortable normal.

Yeah, Perry, _that_ was going to happen.

***

For at least the sixth time that morning, Perry cut a quick corner when he saw JD walking towards him in the hallway. Each time he avoided Newbie it became a little easier, and he hated himself a little more. He picked up the pace, the new route would add at least two minutes to the time it took to get from Mrs. Gunderson’s room to the nurse’s station, but pulling JD into a supply closet by his thick, unruly hair and taking out his frustrations on that lush mouth would definitely take longer, so he avoided and just hoped somewhere deep and unspoken that JD would forgive him.

He almost didn’t see his ex-wife until she was right in front of him. He definitely didn’t notice her quickly enough to both process the confusion about her presence on a day he knew there wasn’t a board meeting and find a new escape route before she noticed him. So instead, he came to a dead stop about three feet from her and grasped at the first reason he could think of that she would seek him out at work. “Is Jack…?”

“Oh my God, Per! It’s like you don’t even trust me with him.” Jordan folded her arms over her chest and glared. “I just wanted to talk to you and you basically accuse me of harming our son. He’s fine. Jack is terrific. He’s probably driving the nanny to thoughts of suicide as we stand here.”

Perry felt a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He and Jordan had always had had this in common – the knee jerk rant/rage reaction. He wondered if Jack had a prayer of avoiding it. “Well he _is_ your son.”

“Yes he is,” Jordan smiled that special smile she reserved for her son and her son alone. It was almost… soft. “Now can you join me for whatever the cafeteria is trying to pass off as lunch, or is the fate of the entire hospital resting on your shoulders?”

Perry did a quick mental check of his patients. There were no patients that could convincingly be said to _need_ him right this instant, and making Jordan wait never really ended well. Besides, if he had Jordan with him, it would be JD’s turn to avoid Perry. No better shield in the world than a vicious ex-wife who your current boyfriend – lover? Benefit? – had also slept with. “I can spare five minutes.” He said. “Actually there was something I wanted to talk to you about too.” _May as well get_ that _over with._

They exchanged small talk all the way through the cafeteria line. Thankfully Jack was always a safe topic and their little boy was busy enough that they pretty much never ran out of things to say. This was especially true when they both had something they needed but didn’t really want to discuss. When they set their trays down and took seats opposite one another in the cafeteria there was a sudden awkward silence.

“I slept with JD.” Perry blurted out. He definitely could have said it more smoothly but the words themselves felt weird in his mouth –like he was probably making it up, even though _everyone_ in the entire damn hospital seemed to know already and even though Jordan looked less surprised than Perry felt.

“Took you long enough.” Jordan smirked and then took advantage of the stunned look on Perry’s face to steal one of his fries.

Perry blinked hard. _What?_ This was not the reaction he had prepared himself for. Jordan had many wonderful qualities, but sensitivity and supportiveness weren’t exactly high on that list. Of all the reactions Perry had imagined when he realized he needed to tell Jordan before anyone else could, calm acceptance was not among them.

“You gonna do it again?”

Perry felt himself flush. “It seems likely.” He almost muttered the words, as if that would make discussing his current sex life with his ex-partner any less embarrassing.

Jordan’s lips quirked, but she refrained from actual laughter which was disconcerting evidence that even hell spawn could experience personal growth. “I’m happy for you, Per. Honest. But maybe we can save the ‘Hey son, guess what? Your daddy likes other dudes!’ conversation until our son is old enough to understand why he shouldn’t share this happy news with grandma?”

“Oh God yes.”

“Good boy.” Jordan flashed him a disconcertingly bright smile. “Speaking of our son’s grandma. I’m flying out to visit her tomorrow. I’m taking Jack. We’ll be back in a couple weeks. That’s okay, right?”

It’s not that Perry has a problem with Jordon taking Jack away for a couple weeks. In fact, for all he always misses his son when he isn’t around, it’s pretty perfect timing. But he hates the vicious harpy Jordan calls mom enough he would have happily had written into their custody agreement a stipulation that the woman never be let within twenty yards of Jack. But Jordan loved her mother – which really should have tipped Perry off years ago – and so did Jack, although Perry didn’t believe for a moment that his son’s affection would outstrip his need of a car seat. “You’ll skype every night so I can say goodnight?”

“Of course.”

Perry ground his teeth for a few seconds and then nodded brusquely. As much as he would have loved to say no, he had no real reason to. Jordan’s mother was a vicious harpy, but like Jordan, she could fake sweet when she wanted to, and she adored Jack. His son always came home bursting with giggles and mostly unintelligible stories. “Fine. But I want an extra weekend when you get back.”

“Of course, Per. He’s your son, he loves you.”

Jordan pushed away her tray, untouched. “I need to go get Jack packed up. Thanks for being reasonable about this. Enjoy your… new friend.” She winked and then turned and strode out of the cafeteria without a backwards look.

Perry shoveled a few bites of food into his mouth but he didn’t taste them. Jordan’s calm acceptance of his new relationship – or fling or whatever it was he had started the night before – felt too good to be true. Somewhere another shoe was definitely going to drop.

* * *

“Mrs. Gunderson is running a fever.”

Perry barely looked at the red headed intern as he took the chart from her hands already walking quickly towards his patient’s room. Mrs. Gunderson could not have a fever. She couldn’t, because the transplant coordinator had called only ten minutes ago. They had it, the kidney she so desperately needed. The kidney they would lose if there was any indication that she had an infection which would impact her ability to recover. Of course, there were benign reasons, reasons a body might run hot that didn’t spell disaster, but Perry had never been very good at optimism. And this fever felt like disaster.

Two hours later Perry collapsed on the couch in the break room, his head ached and he was ready to throttle every single one of the current crop of interns, but Mrs. Gunderson was in surgery. That was ultimately what mattered, not the twenty minutes Perry had spent yelling at the transplant coordinator before she agreed to let him rerun the tests his interns had screwed up to prove that Mrs. Gunderson’s low grade temperature was nothing more than exhaustion and stress. Just thinking about it made the blood run hot in his veins and the pain in his head throb with each angry beat of his heart. If he hadn’t… if they’d… Mrs. Gunderson could have died. She would have, if Perry hadn’t been able to convince her his interns were barely medical students and didn’t know what the fuck they were doing.

It would have served them right, killing a woman because they switched the labels on two blood tests, but Mrs. Gunderson, every patient that walked through the doors of Sacred Heart, deserved more. They deserved a doctor who was more concerned with making sure each patient got the best care possible to keep them alive than about who was screwing who. They deserved a doctor whose sole focus when he or she walked through the doors of Sacred Heart was on the job, the kind of doctors he used to pride himself on creating. The kind of doctors he had been too distracted these last few months to even realize the new interns were miles away from, might never be. He had fucked up, been distracted by a crush he never should have given in to, and he’d nearly gotten Mrs. Gunderson killed. This one was on Perry.

“Perry?” JD’s voice was soft, gentle. He didn’t touch the older man, but he sat close enough Perry could smell his own shampoo in JD’s thick dark hair.

Perry flinched. “I see your stint as a TV star hasn’t improved your sense of timing.”

“Rhonda told me about Mrs. Gunderson.”

It took nearly ten seconds for Perry to remember that Rhonda was the red-haired intern who had screwed up Mrs. Gunderson’s sample. Perry snorted derisively. “Maybe if she spent less time chasing you around the halls and more time actually doing her job we wouldn’t have been in this mess.”

“Perry, that’s not—”

“Nice?” Perry stood and pivoted so he could glower grouchily down at JD. “Newsflash Josephine, _I’m_ not nice. Nice has no place in a hospital. Maybe if you were a little less _nice._ ” Perry practically spat the word, “your interns wouldn’t be trying to kill my patients.” JD was looking up at Perry, his wide eyes dim with hurt, his full lips pursed in displeasure. Perry knew he had already gone too far, no matter how shitty his day, or his interns, none of this was Newbie’s fault, but he was in full rant mode and the words kept coming even as every fibre of Perry’s being strained to just push JD back against the couch and kiss him until everything else went away.

“Let me explain something to you that you apparently failed to learn during your own years at an intern. God and Bobbo alone know how you possibly made attending if you haven’t managed to absorb the most BASIC of basics. Or did the hair products finally leak into your brain so far they’re compromising your fundamental skills? People reproduce knowledge best in the environment they acquired it in. It’s psych 101. So if we coddle our interns, give them a cookie every time they do a trick and put up big signs warning everyone that our cuddly little snookums is a walking assassin, we set them up for failure. Since you have apparently failed to notice, the majority of people are pretty much a waste of oxygen. This means that as doctors, we spend a lot of time patching up jerks who, in addition to lacking any sort of gratitude or common courtesy, have the self-preservation instincts of a blind-deaf armadillo on a freeway. Sure, they’ll duck when they think they feel that semi coming, but eight times out of ten, they still get run over and it’s not long before all armadillos start looking like roadkill and it seems like patching them up only to send them back out onto the freeway is about the MOST pointless thing anyone can do. Especially if your teacher when you first started patching up road kill told you it was possible to save them, and even went out of his way to make sure you had some big saves so that you too would believe that some Armadillos are not roadkill. Of course, when you eve-he-hensually realize that this is just another lie, well it can be hard to even go near the highway. Buuuuuuut, if you learn right away that all Armadillos are roadkill but that you can patch the same Armadillo up so many times that no one cares when the great semi on the highway of life mows it down, then it doesn’t matter that every single person you treat dies eventually. What matters is that you never sit back and hope for a miracle when you can get in there and fix it, no matter how scared, or stressed, or angry, or tired you are. _That_ is what we’re trying to teach here. So don’t look at me with those big puppy eyes and tell me I’m not being nice like that’s a bad thing. ‘Cause guess what Newbie? Being nice, that’s what’s bad. Now maybe you should get back out there and make sure ickle Rondhie’s feelings aren’t hurt. You can braid each other’s hair and gossip while I go scare some potential into the interns who matter.”

JD shook his head once and then got to his feet and walked out of the room without a second glance. As soon as the door slipped shut behind him, Perry collapsed on the couch and stabbed at the remote, turning up the volume in an attempt to drown out the angry voices in his brain. The other shoe that he had been waiting for all day had dropped, and as usual the foot inside of it belonged to Perry himself.

***

The rest of the day passed in a blur for Perry. Anger at himself for failing with his intern, nearly letting a healthy transplant patient die because of a labelling error, but more than anything for taking all of that anger out on JD, kept interfering with his judgement and when it was finally time to hand off his patients to Mickhead, Perry let out an audible sigh of relief. It had been a very bad day. But now it was over and he needed to find JD. He owed the kid one hell of an apology.

JD had already been and gone by the time Perry reached the locker room. He growled and spun on his heel, not bothering to change into street clothes before heading for the parking lot. He would storm back into JD’s apartment if it became necessary, but he would much rather have this out away from the prying eyes and ears of JD’s roommates.

Perry’s way was blocked suddenly by the handle of a mop. He turned his head to glare at the Janitor but received a disconcerting bright smile in return for his annoyance.

“You and Dorian, huh?” The Janitor said, still smiling that discomforting smile. “Gotta say, I thought it would have lasted a little longer than a day.”

Perry raised an eyebrow but said nothing. His face felt frozen in permanent displeasure and he hoped it was a fearsome enough expression to send the Janitor off to another part of the hospital.

The Janitor shrugged and pulled back his mop to let Perry pass. “You’re welcome!” he called after Perry’s retreating back.

The Janitor’s bizarre farewell made sense when Perry stepped out into the cool evening air, and nearly ran straight into JD. He was so relieved for a moment that he didn’t notice the wheel missing from JD’s scooter. He just stood there for a moment, smiling, which meant that when he finally registered more than JD’s mere presence he had yet another thing to apologize for. But, sappy sod that he was, he was still Perry Cox and that apparently meant he was incapable of just launching into an apology – no matter how truly sorry he felt for the jackass that was his basic personality. “If you wanted to come home with me you could have just asked, Newbie.” He quipped, cringing inwardly as the words left his mouth.

JD didn’t even crack a smile. He stared at Perry, his wide eyes blank as if Perry were some total stranger interrupting JD’s day to say something banal about the weather. “The janitor.” He said after a long, uncomfortable silence.

“Ah.” Perry crossed and uncrossed his arms. A silent, sullen JD was something he had no idea how to deal with. What he wanted to do was grab JD by the lapels of his jacket and pull him into a kiss that would erase all the ugliness of the day, but even though he had proven today that he was about the biggest idiot to ever walk the halls of Sacred Heart, he still had the mental prowess to know that doing so would be a catastrophic mistake. “It’s been a long day, come on. We can fix your scooter tomorrow before shift. I owe you at least that.” It was a weak apology, but Perry was still surprised and a little hurt when JD shook his head no.

“I really just want to go home.” JD said with an apologetic half smile.

Perry, apparently having learned nothing, wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “A little soon for us to be sneaking in past the roomies, isn’t it?” He laughed a little, as if he could force some of the usual lightness into JD by wanting it hard enough. It came out exactly as it was: desperate and a little manic.

“Alone.”

“Oh.” Perry knew he had no right to be anything other than completely understanding, but the single word of rejection stung as much as if JD had wound up and punched him. “Sure, whatever you want.”

JD’s eyes truly met Perry’s for the first time. He looked defeated, and something Perry couldn’t quite name. “It’s just been a long day, for both of us.”

“Yep.” Perry’s voice was tight. Despite himself he was surprised at just how quickly he had managed to fuck everything up. He should have known he would ruin it. Perry the Saboteur. But one day? Not even 24 hours? That was just… sad. “Hop in, I’ll drop you off.”

"Front seat?"

Perry felt a part of him shrivel up inside at the unwelcome reminder of what a jackass he was. "Of course, Newb--JD."

JD smiled at his name on Perry's lips and Perry's heart experienced a little flip. Maybe there was hope left after all.


	2. Making Up

The front seat of Perry’s Porsche is just as comfortable as JD remembers from the one other time he was allowed in it – the three tap rule really had always worked before, curse fate and the sudsy temptress that was root beer. But as much as it was a privilege to be finally admitted back in, JD had trouble remembering a time he had felt more awkward. Even the root beer incident hadn’t left him feeling as if he had two left feet where his hands should be. Perry was silent. This wasn’t unusual, except JD had really thought the older man would talk at least a little more now that they were… Well, he didn’t actually know what they were, had been the night before. _What a mess._ For a moment he thought he had said that thought aloud it had rung so clearly in his mind, but a quick look at Perry confirmed he hadn’t.

It was a mess. The night before, pressed up against Perry’s muscled chest, JD had thought that maybe they could make something of this. He wasn’t completely deluded; he couldn’t imagine ever calling Perry his ‘boyfriend’ or the two of them walking down the street hand in hand, but he had hoped – expected even – that things would shift. JD and Perry, “partners.” Hell, he probably would have been ecstatic about “friends with benefits.” Although, if he was really honest, JD was hoping for “lovers.” But then the morning had come and after a mind-blowing start, they had been forced by the Hippocratic Oath to go in to work.

He didn’t know what it was about the halls of Sacred Heart that had changed Perry’s mind, but by the time JD arrived for his shift Perry was in full avoid-JD mode. It had hurt, but given the whispers and openly curious stares that had followed JD around all shift, it hadn’t taken long for it to make sense. Perry was a pretty private guy. That he might want to avoid the interest of the resident gossips made sense. But it hadn’t helped at all to clarify what they were. By his lunch break, JD was ready to just page Perry to an on call room or hide near a supply closet until the older doctor passed and then drag him inside by his curls. Instead, he had tracked Perry down in the on call room when Rhonda told him what happened with Mrs. Gunderson, and been soundly chastised for… JD didn’t even really know.

The rant might make sense when JD wrote it out in his rant journal, but honestly, he wasn’t sure he had the heart to make this one permanent. Even though the rant hadn’t been nearly as mean or personal as many of the others JD had received over the years, it had been the worst one. Which clarified one thing for JD: he didn’t just want to be Perry’s fuck buddy.

He may not know what he and Perry were, but he hadn’t hallucinated last night. If nothing else, Perry’s clumsy come on after shift had confirmed that Perry was up for more of the same tonight. So the physical stuff was on the table, but JD knew now that just the physical wasn’t enough. He could do slow, he could be a friend who was also a fuck buddy, but he wasn’t going to be Perry’s punching bag at work and his scratching post at night. He would do a lot for Perry, but he couldn’t do that.

Perry pulled the Porsche up in front of JD’s building and cut the engine. JD took a deep breath and reached for the door handle. He knew he would forgive Perry, had already forgiven him really, and he had had a really, really long, hard day. Perry might not deserve this, but JD did, and so he would be damned if he wasn’t going to take what he needed. Lust had a way of clarifying some things even if he was never sure the decisions he made under the influence of lust were solid ones.

One hand still awkwardly placed on the door handle, JD leaned across and kissed Perry. He meant it to be a quick, soft 'see you tomorrow' kiss but Perry's hands came up, one gripping the back of JD's neck, one against JD's chest, gripping his shirt tightly, and he poured so much into the kiss it almost hurt. JD released the door handle and twined his fingers through Perry's hair, pulling a bit when Perry nipped at JD's bottom lip.

The kiss broke but Perry didn't release JD or pull back. He pressed his forehead against JD's and panting slightly. After several beats of silence he pulled back far enough to look JD straight in the eye. "I'm sorry. I've been waiting all day to do that. It made me a little crazier than normal." He couldn't help swooping in for another searing kiss. And then he let go and collapsed back against the driver's seat. "See you tomorrow? I can pick you up early, we’ll go fix Sasha before your shift?"

Perry knew his schedule, and his scooter’s name. It wasn’t exactly a declaration, but it left a warm feeling in JD’s chest. "So we had our first fight as a couple and you're going to make me wait a whole day for make-up sex?” JD placed a hand on Perry’s upper thigh and squeezed gently. “You really are a tease aren't you Perry?"

Perry's eyes flicked first to JD's face and then down to his lap and he grinned. "Oh Kathleen you have NO IDEA how much of a tease I can be." With a twist of his wrist he brought the Porsche to life. Keeping one hand on the wheel, he reached for JD's fly with the other. "If you come in my car I will revoke your front seat privileges for good."

JD squeezed his eyes shut and focused on his breathing as Perry drove them to his apartment. He tried to block out the fact that Perry had worked his fly open and was tracing his fingers teasingly over JD's boxers, pulling away every time he needed the hand to shift gears and then returning. If he acknowledged what Perry was doing he would never be able to maintain control. So breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

And then they were pulled into Perry's space in the underground parking and Perry was stepping out of the car, pulling off his jacket and strategically holding it over the bulge in his scrub pants. JD wasn't even sure his legs would work. It had taken every bit of muscle control he had not to thrust up against Perry's fingers. But somehow he managed to stand and refasten enough of his fly to keep his pants on and then Perry was pushing him up against a cement pillar and kissing him until he couldn't breathe but that didn't matter because Perry's hand was once again around JD's cock, this time thrust down JD's boxers, skin on skin.

Perry swallowed JD's groans and he worked his hand over the younger man's erection. But it wasn’t quite the right friction. His hands were too dry, and though JD was too close after all the teasing to care, Perry cared. He broke away from their kiss and dropped to his knees. He didn’t care they were in a parking garage. It was late and the light above them was burned out, and he had laundry in his apartment. He needed to taste JD. Needed to have that cock in his mouth. Needed to make JD come. He pushed JD's boxers down just far enough to free his erection and then plunged his head forward, taking as much of JD as he could.

JD thrusted against the wet heat of Perry's mouth and he swallowed to keep from gagging and pulled his head back far enough that JD could thrust without hurting him. Wrapping a hand around the base of JD's cock, he swirled his tongue around the head. JD groaned and grabbed Perry's head, thrusting with short, tiny thrusts that he couldn't contain.

"Oh God, Perry!" JD gasped. His thrusts became more erratic, his fingers tightened in Perry's hair and then he was coming hot and salty and a little bitter against Perry's tongue.

Perry swallowed it all before letting JD's cock fall from his mouth. "We should probably continue this upstairs." He got to his feet and is surprised when JD pulled him in for a deep kiss.

Somehow they managed to make it upstairs. Perry ordered JD to strip and barely got mad when JD teased him for starting their spoiled clothes on a wash cycle before joining JD on the bed. "You'll thank me when you have something to wear tomorrow."

"How about I thank you right now instead?" JD asked

As JD kissed and suckled his way down Perry's body, Perry thinks he could get used to this kind of thank you.


End file.
